Please parse the above lightly. I did not intend my return to blogging as a downer, but nostalgia is never far when I am near. Really what I was intending when I started this post was a reference to the fact that the holidays are over and, despite a long absence, I am STILL STANDING. I baked, crafted, shopped, wrapped, visited, recovered, and welcomed in the new year. I don't put much stock in resolutions, as I am ever skeptical of my ability to see any to fruition, however I do have some intentions:
To live in the moment more. My son will turn five in May and I anxiously dread the ebbing of the easy love we swim in now. In fact I've pretty much dreaded this from the day he was born, anticipating the sullen responses, averted eyes and general rejection that parents often suffer at the hands of their callous young. So, for now, I will smother him in kisses and demand my share in return! Hopefully, the banked love will make the desert crossing easier.
Conversely, to create my future. I hesitate to put those words down as I don't have any strategy waiting in the wings to move the action forward. But a change is gonna come.
Where are you goin' my baby my own?
Turn around and you're two
Turn around and you're four
Turn around and you're a young [boy]
Going out of the door
Turn Around by Nanci Griffiths
(Lyrics by Malvina Reynolds, Harry Belafonte & Allen Greene)